Honest words from my postpartum journey, don't rush your healing

Our society celebrates our newborn children, but what about the mothers? "The moment a child is born, a mother is born". She is forever changed, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Yet, we are pushed to rush our healing, to "get back to our pre-baby bodies", have sex again when we might not be ready.... the list goes on, and I share this from my own perspective and my own journey because I want to honor all mothers out there.



Trigger warning for some, I do talk about sex and vaginas in this post, please scroll if you do not want to read.


The postpartum journey is not talked about enough. The focus is in the child, and the mom gets one checkup at 6 weeks, then she is cleared or not cleared to go "back to regular routines".


THAT IS BS!


Your body is not ready six weeks after. Your pelvic floor is still healing, no matter if you had a tear or not. It's a lot of pressure on a woman to "get back" to where she was.


But the thing is, she can never go back. The moment that child was born, a mother was born too... and life was forever changed.


The truth is it will pass, but in the middle of it you will feel alone.


I felt so confused that I didn't know what to do- if I would feel like that forever. I am not writing this post to scare anyone, but rather a post for YOU- who might feel alone during your first few months after giving birth. I see you. I feel your pain, and you joy.


These are some words from my journal the month or two after giving birth:

"Excruciating pain


My body doesn’t feel like mine

I have so much respect and love for my body but at the same time I am mourning my pre-baby body.

I am mourning my plump boobs

My pleasurable vagina

My intimacy with my husband

Because intimacy right now is excruciating. It’s so painful that I want to cry


Knowing it will be painful doesn’t even make me want to be intimate.

Because I am afraid. I am afraid of the pain.


I feel sad at times for other moms out there struggling too.

For relationships that get put on pause or maybe ends because a child is born.

The slow tear on the relationship.

When the intimacy and passion is gone, what’s left.


I know we will not lose each other, that is not something that worries me.

But I do feel and think about other women that have men that are not patient.


Women give their bodies to create life.

Yes, we change after giving birth - Our bodies, our minds, even our emotions.

I envy the women that “bounce” back fast, and I am not talking about weight.

I am talking about being able to be intimate.


I keep hearing that “it will get better. It will even be better than before”.

But truth is my vagina doesn’t feel like mine anymore, not one bit.

It’s so painful that I want to cry."



Today, over a year after giving birth, my body is still not "the same", and I do not strive for it to be either.


Yes, I am "healed". But it took a while for me to be able to enjoy sex again with my husband.


It was terrifying at first, I even cried of pain (my husband was so careful and ended up just holding me). I had a lot of scar tissue to work with, so we had to take it easy for a long time.

Even if pleasure started to come back (with penetration) around 6 months postpartum, it took over 10 months for it to not hurt so bad when he first entered.


I share this because I want you to know that you are not alone, if you are a woman and have been struggling with feeling like "there is something wrong with you" - IT'S NOT!


You carried a human for 9 months, you grew life, and then you birthed this child into this earthly realm- that is a life changing event, and a major trauma to your body. No matter how peaceful your birth was, it's still a trauma to your beautiful body.


I have clients that are still experiencing pain, even years after giving birth, and they have not said anything because they feel ashamed and don't know who to reach out.


There is help!


I suggest starting with seeing a pelvic floor specialist - i did an Instagram Live about this topic during my postpartum journey She helped me a lot with releasing the scare tissue and she gave me a lot of tips about how I could support my vagina and my pelvic floor.


Don't rush your healing, mama, you deserve to be heard and seen. You deserve to have a happy vagina!


xo, Linda


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#postpartumjourney #childbirth #motherhood #postpartum #pelvicfloortherapy #dontrushyourhealing