I love being in my high-vibe, all positive energy - I thrive in the light! But I also have to walk through the dark phases of life, and it's hard! We can't bypass our way through our healing - we, have to be with the sh*t as well. Trust me, I would like to tell my clients that "I am perfect and I have it all figured out", but that would be a big fat lie!
What’s behind the perfect photos?
Truth is, the last couple of months have been a roller coaster of emotions.
As a coach, healer, and mentor I continue to walk the path of my own healing as well.
I never claim to be perfect. Far from it.
The last two months have been the hardest ones in a while, internally.
I have continued to show up for my clients, for my business, for my friends and my family.
But the internal struggle has been hard.
Most days I don’t want to get out of bed.
My why is what I do, being a nurturing being for others.
Being an entrepreneur is not easy. The road to building your own empire might feel very lonely at times, and there will be doubts. Truth is, as I have shared on my newsletter, I have been wanting to quit.
The last months I have been feeling:
😭 Depression, sadness, confusion
🤬 Anger & resentment
I am human, I feel it all too. Healing is not linear, I will come back to my own crap over and over again. When we try to push for higher grounds, we tend to push our own limits again.
We reach out "high ceiling" and doubt, imposter syndrome, fear... comes to the surface for us to look at again, and again.
I am an “expert” of detaching from my emotions. To transmute my shadows into light.
But right in this moment, I have been fully embodied in my humanness.
I know this is all part of it.
The surrender to it all.
The being with the uncomfortable feelings and not trying to run away.
NO MORE NUMBING
10 years ago I would have tried to numb myself by distracting myself with partying or “staying busy”.
But I am not running away. I am with it all.
I trust it. I trust this confusion for every time I surrender to my faith, something greater appears.
I walk the path with my clients as a medicine woman.
It’s easy to ride the waves of being high on life, it’s hard to surrender deep to the discomfort and pain we feel of emotions overwhelming our system.
We are wired to chase our happiness. We think there is something wrong with us when we feel the lower range of emotions.
But what if there is nothing wrong with us?
It’s just our nervous systems being overly activated, overly stimulated.
We try to numb, avoid releasing the overflow of emotions and are constantly trying to “fix” ourselves.
Being vulnerable with the reality of being human is not easy.
I never share my heart for unsolicited advice, I share because I want to tell that one person “it’s OK, you can get through the hard times”.
We can’t be space holders for others' shadows & trauma if we don’t face and release our own.
We can’t just stay in “love & light”, trust me, I am someone that thrives in the light 😆 but I am forced to be with my humanness.
Trust your journey.
Your emotions are energy in motion, it doesn’t always mean something.
Rather you might just need help to release that pressure of overflow of energy.
I wouldn’t be able to go through all of this without the tools I use in my own healing practice 😅 (thank you somatic breathwork, energy healing, my sensual flow practice, embodiments coaching tools, cold showers and more!)
Thank you God for the ups and downs, for I wouldn’t know what joy is if I didn’t allow myself to feel all the ranges of emotions.
I know the place I am in now is all for a greater purpose, and as always me sharing my journey is part of my story.
You don’t have to be a perfect:
✨ Student ……
Don’t chase perfection, rather surrender to the beauty of the imperfections that make life & you perfect just the way it is.
PS. You don’t have to hold on to all it, there are tools out there for you to release your emotions, trauma, pain, confusion… you past. You don’t have to carry it anymore.